Alan C. Fox's Blog, page 17

We spend our lives wanting to hear those adoring words, “I love you.”

But there is a problem here, and no easy way around it. Someone has to say, “I love you” first.

We have no trouble saying, “I really enjoyed having lunch with you.” We don’t hesitate to say, “I like you,” or, “I care about you.”

So why is it that our most exhilarating message often becomes trapped in the prison of our hearts? Why do we conceal the words that matter most? Isn’t the first “I love you” a compliment?

No. Not at...

Do you believe that anything on the following list scares you?

Standing on a high ledge. Buying a house. Balancing your checkbook. Making an emotional commitment. Speaking before a large group of people.

If you said yes to any of these you fall into a nearly universal trap. Most people believe that when they are scared of something, the scare comes from outside of themselves. It is perfectly normal to say, “[Whatever it is] scares me.” If everyone talks about scare that way, then it must be...

My mother was a very smart woman. She figured it out, whether it was a recipe that didn’t work the first time or how to raise her two sons.

One of the many things Mom figured out was how to buy shoes.

“If a pair of shoes isn’t comfortable, don’t buy them. They’re going to fit exactly the same way tomorrow morning as they do right now.”

I wanted to buy many of the shoes I tried on. Many looked great, but there was always Mom with her, “If the shoe doesn’t fit . . . “

My friend Roger taught me...

Yesterday I celebrated Independence Day with friends at a BBQ. We scarfed down hot dogs, chicken, and ribs (burp), and enjoyed a hot summer day while the kids splashed around in the pool and we grownups dipped in the hot tub. We also chatted about the state of the Union, and agreed that there are a lot of faces without noses in Washington, D. C.

When I was a kid I threatened more than once to run away from home because I didn’t like the restrictions my parents put on me. “Anything must be bet...

Some of us know our mission in life at an early age. Some of us never know. But if we let ourselves really think about it most of us would realize, in our bellies or in our brains, what we’re meant to do in this life.

Sprite knew at an early age that she was sent to help others. When she was a freshman in college she worked two or three jobs to earn the money to put herself through school. She also found time to volunteer at the Minneapolis Crisis Nursery.

The Crisis Nursery is for parents wh...

Last night Sprite fell asleep in my arms snuggling against my chest. I felt and heard her soft breath. The awareness that accompanies awakeness had disappeared.

This morning at breakfast I was reading the newspaper. Sprite said she likes to watch me when I’m concentrating. In those moments she sees the pure me, the innocent me, and feels loving, just as I did when she fell asleep last night.

Like all actors, we put on a show when we think others are watching us. We clean ourselves up and poke...

When they work properly, electronics are great. I love to sit at my desk, read incoming texts and emails, then file my reply in a folder. I love to stay in touch with friends and family on my iPhone. I also like to check sports scores, the weather, and hear that friendly voice on Google Maps tell me where to go.

But I’m a fair weather friend to my electronics. When my iPhone drops a call, or when my laptop loses a document, I feel like stomping on them and demanding a full refund. On a recent...

This morning I asked a close friend of mine how he enjoyed his weekend.

“Educational,” he said.

Alarm bells rang in my head.

“Okay, Larry. What went wrong?”

“My wife and I had dinner Saturday night with Peter and his wife. We’ve known them for a long time. Peter is a very successful businessman. When the waiter gave us the check, Peter suggested we split the cost. This was despite the fact that he and his wife ordered more expensive meals, and also three glasses each of a very expensive wine....

As we head into the summer season of weddings, I have four wishes for all ye who enter there. No, it’s not to abandon hope, the subject of my blog last week, but to have hope tempered by reality. Place on her finger a diamond with the proper Cut, Color, Clarity, and Carat weight, and then bestow upon each other, and receive from each other, the singular wedding gifts of Clarity, Consideration, Consistency, and Completeness.

First, I wish you Clarity. I know you are planning to marry a perfec...

This is the inscription over the gate to Hell in Dante’s Divine Comedy. Until recently, I’ve found these words chilling. After all, it’s a greeting at the entrance to Hell, which is supposed to be a pretty nasty place, and who would want to live, or die, with no hope?

I do.

Hope is described on Wikipedia as “an optimistic attitude of mind based on an expectation of positive outcomes.” As a verb it describes a desire for certain things to happen. “I hope I get a better job.” “I hope that in ou...