Alan C. Fox's Blog, page 21
October 26, 2015
Take Responsibility for Your Performance
The other day I was hurrying along the sidewalk on my way to get a haircut when someone almost knocked me over. After regaining my balance I turned to see the woman who had bumped into me on the ground. Her dry cleaning was strewn around her.
“Are you okay?” I asked
“Yes, I’m so sorry,” she said. “The plastic wrapping got caught in the door as I left the cleaners and I tripped. I hope you aren’t hurt.”
“Not at all,” I said. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
I helped her pick up her dry cleaning. We smi...
October 19, 2015
Chocolate Ice Cream and Parallel Paths
One of the more important lessons I’ve learned in life is that we all walk unique but parallel paths. Each of us is truly one of a kind. We have different preferences, worldviews, and tastes. I’ve even heard of some people who dislike chocolate ice cream. Now that is really strange.
And even if you and I speak the same language, we certainly will have different vocabularies and emotional associations. When I think of New York City I think of seeing plays on Broadway. You might associate New Y...
October 12, 2015
Mindreading – If You Loved Me I Wouldn’t Have to Ask
I used to believe that if I had to ask you for something then even if you gave me what I asked for it was worthless. If you really cared for me you would gladly give me whatever I needed without my having to go to the trouble of actually asking.
Just how logical is this idea? Let’s give it a try. Take a few seconds, close your eyes, and then tell me what I want right now.
All right. Time’s up. Did you figure it out? If you didn’t read my mind correctly should I conclude that you don’t really...
October 5, 2015
Improve Your Relationship- Catch Them Being Better
Imagine you have wanted your partner or spouse to change their behavior for a long time. And one fine day, as if by magic, they do. For example, they finally take out the trash without being reminded.
How should you respond?
Last Friday I appeared on the “The Social,” a popular national television show in Canada. I wrote a chapter “Catch Them Being Better” in my book People Tools for Love and Relationships. On “The Social” I mentioned, as I had in my book, that to encourage repeat behavior yo...
September 28, 2015
Since You Can Never Tell, Always Tell
None of us knows what will happen tomorrow.
One Monday morning my brother David didn’t show up for work. He was only sixty years old, and yet the unthinkable had happened. We have missed him for more than twelve years now.
Yesterday we received a call that Danny, our beloved cousin, had been admitted to City of Hope with a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. His daughter was flying in from England, and his son driving down to Los Angeles from Fresno.
Bad stuff happens. We all know that. But too o...
September 21, 2015
Clapping for Customers
For more than ten years the Italian restaurant next door to my office has been my “go to” place for a quick lunch with friends and clients. No drive, no parking, good food, and the added benefit of supporting a neighbor. But a few months ago, sadly, Mezzo Mondo closed its doors and vanished.
As I left my office yesterday evening I noticed a new Japanese restaurant had taken its place. The lights were bright, liveried valet on duty, a smiling hostess at the front door, three waiters hovering,...
September 16, 2015
Enter to Win People Tools for Love and Relationships! Ends 9/18
September 14, 2015
The Top Ten Things That I Enjoy
I find that I am often thinking or writing about how to improve my life, how to perform a task better, or how to avoid a problem. Today I’d rather just write about the top ten things I enjoy in my life – in other words, what reliably transforms my mood to happy. I list these in no particular order, because each of them brings a smile to my face, for a shorter or longer period of time, and happy is happy. There is no eighty percent or eighty-five percent about it.
September 7, 2015
The Dream Is Free. The Hustle Is Sold Separately.
As the man in front of me ordered his hamburger, I read the words on the back of his T-shirt. “The Dream is Free. The Hustle is Sold Separately.”
When I was a kid I had a dream of finding one product, placing an ad in a single magazine, selling more than $1,000,000 of my product, then retiring on my profit at age twenty. The dream was free. As it turns out, the hustle was missing.
In my teens I had the dream of being a better writer than Shakespeare. Again, the dream was absolutely free. I al...
September 2, 2015
Student Reflections on People Tools
Several Success in Degrees Student Reflections on Alan C. Fox’s “People Tools”
“As I opened the book on NYC subway, I was intrigued right from the beginning and fascinated by how much these small adjustments to myself could help me succeed in all of the relationships I have and hope to have. But what particularly impressed me were rules 9—The Picture: Function Over Form, and 32—Tip the Messenger. These two rules truly made me think in a different way, in large measure because I am a recoveri...
