G.L. Lambert's Blog, page 7

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

Why do people grow apart? Boredom! With the exception of money, aka financial stress, statistics point to the biggest rift in couples being a lack of passion brought on by being no longer fulfilled-- in short, the person YOU fell in love with no longer has those same butterflies and is now looking for a way out. Slowly but surely, they will start to slip away… spending less time with you, opening up to other women, using their friends as an excuse to get away from you, and, of course, mentally beginning to look for your replacement.

She's no longer what I want, but I don't want to be the one that breaks up, so let me open myself up mentally and see if the Universe will bring another woman into my life who checks the boxes that my current girl doesn't...

This is the status of so many of your relationships, or it will become the fate of your next relationship unless you can keep boredom from creeping into your relationship. Today I'm going to break down some tips to reset your relationship through three specific Mindfucks....

But before we get to that, The Spanish Language audio book of Men Don't Love Women Like You (Yes, I listened to you) is finally here, it includes an updated "Risk The Dick" section incorporating new strategies for 2024. If you're a Spanish speaker please download today and give a listen or send as a gift to someone who is... by visiting Audible or Amazon by clicking HERE.

A New Year Deserves A New YOU. To celebrate the release of my latest book I'm doing a AUDIO BOOK giveaway of Ho Tactics, Unicorn Delusion, and Date Like A Spartan...

Below Are The Free Audible Book Codes. One Per Reader. Copy Then Redeem @ https://www.audible.com/acx-promo The rest of this page is Member Content! Don't miss out! CLICK HERE TO UNLOCK THIS PAGE...Current members login using the form below to unlock this content... Username or E-mail Password Remember Me     Forgot Password

Thanks for reading He’s Just Not Feeling You Anymore – Mind Games That Reset & Save Your Relationship

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

Bitches get shit done. Bitches get what they want. Bitches understand that life isn’t about playing nice, it’s about playing for keeps. Let’s swap out the word “bitch” for Spartan, aka those powerful women who have studied this site and have read all my books. That level of wisdom and confidence will always win out in love and life because they aren’t afraid to be the bad girl. Can you say that about yourself? Or are you still playing nice, hoping people like you or someone sees you as special? It’s time to realize your power.

Powerful women are magnets for men, but more importantly, by carrying yourself like a true fucking Queen, you gain respect across the board. Understand this. Respect weighs more than love. You’ve had people in your life who loved you but still fucked you over. Respect is the ingredient that tells a person that if they cross you, they lose you. Respect is the understanding that they can’t play in your face and expect to still be in your life the next day. Respect is earned based on your character, so look at your life and show me the receipts that you’re a person who demands respect or someone who is seen as a joke.

Men love bitches because bitches demand respect and could care less about how often you drop the “L word.” Is that your energy? If not, then you need to recognize that men will take advantage.

We as men know one thing for a fact: Certain women are clowns, they’re weak, love us more than we love them, and we can play in their face… BUT there is another group of women we can’t play with and who are worthy of our respect and admiration because they carry themselves differently.

Why will a man who’s a work in progress chase you, keep fucking up, and never change no matter how many arguments you have and tears you cry? Because he knows you’re emotionally soft and thirsty for a “happy ending.” These men clown you out, have you holding out hope, never changing… Yet, when he meets a new woman, one who isn’t with the shit, he becomes a different person and gives her the world.  He’s doing things for her that he wouldn’t do for you. That hurts, doesn’t it? You feel like a victim, but you’re not. You’re an enabler, and it’s time to stop that cycle!

This isn’t a case of “training a man so he’s better to your replacement,” it’s proof that the women who come after you are coming with an energy that you lack. On today’s show, we’re going to talk about tapping into this energy and Why Men Love Spartans. Login BELOW to listen to this podcast and stop playing games with your future!

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Thanks for reading Why Men Love Bitches – The Spartan Version

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

Why do men lie, manipulate, and fake feelings just for sex? Why are the male-centered books or podcasts all centered around putting women down or how to mindfuck them into submitting? Because more than half the men you will ever meet are secretly at war with you, a war you don't even know about...

When a boy uses or ghosts you, did you do something wrong or is it game? When you are crying over a relationship that seems to be falling apart is it incompatibility or sabotage? Is any thing you go through real? Or are these men playing a game to gain power over your mind? There are some women who use Ho Tactics to mindfuck men and gain wealth, but that's a very low number. On the other hand, the majority of males use DICK TACTICS to gain power over weak willed women who aren't educated in the ways of gas lighting, reverse psychology, and "wounded bird" attachment. By pretending to be everything you've ever wanted, they blind you to their red flags and erode your common sense.

Love bomb you, make you feel needed, reinforce how special you are, then once you're totally open off of this treatment, they drop their mask and show their true colors! Stop being naive to these kinds of hustles. As a woman you're loyal, loving, and want to love unconditionally, and these male hos will use your own soft and maternal nature to fuck you, borrow money, lower your credit score, or keep you on their roster for YEARS as a placeholder while they STILL chase other women... because they know that once Dick Tactics sets in, most women can't stop it and will always come back for more...

Click The Link Below To Download the Free E-Book, Dick Tactics and learn how to turn the table on predatory men!

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Thanks for reading Free E-Book: Dick Tactics – How To Expose Male Players

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

On today's show we talk to an unlikely therapist about the top problems her clients face and create a blueprint that will help you sidestep Narcissist, turn the tables on love bombing, bring the passion back to a stalled relationship, and break down how to get everything you want in your romantic life before the age of 40!

Don't miss out on this life changing episode! Press Play below to listen in right now!

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Thanks for reading The Blueprint For Happily Ever After

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

How do you date at a high level, avoiding the fuck boys and securing a quality man? How do you turn your relationship around from ready to break up to back in love? How do you hit reset with that “friend” who has begun to lose interest in you? I talk about these things often, and I have countless examples of how women have won by paying attention to the blueprints on this site... but you’re not one of those women. Look at your life. You’re still confused by the things men do and can’t exercise control over them because every time you meet one that's handsome, your panties flood and your common sense malfunctions. How many times are you going to lose before you take this help I'm offering seriously?

“Yeah, G.L.’s book said to do this, but my man is different, so I’m going to do it 40% his way and 30% another person’s way, and make up the rest…” And you wonder why your love life isn’t popping? You should be dating top-shelf men. You should be in relationships where you aren’t arguing. You should be living your best life and secure in your skin with a man who values you because he sees that you’re a fucking Spartan, not a Placeholder. Instead, you’re making excuses for being single or trapped in a toxic relationship with a man who can’t wait to find a Game Changer so he can drop your ass.

Fuck where to go on a first date, you should be learning why you can’t get to a second date, Basica. Your mouth says, “What man wouldn’t want me,” but the receipts of your life prove that no one is willing to commit you after they get to know you. You're not Bae, you're the girl in his phone he only hits up when the cooler one doesn't text back. You’re out here dating blind to your trauma and flaws, thinking because you have a cute face all will be forgiven. There are too many women with the total package for men who aren’t damaged goods to settle for you.

Do you know how to turn a man on with conversation? Do you know how to make a man respect you enough not to cheat? Do you know how to come off as a woman who needs to be chased and locked down because she’s rare? No. All you know is your little basic bitch routine. You’ve been dating the same way since you were 18. Asking the same questions, texting with the same dryness, and giving up pussy to the same clowns who tell you what you want to hear. When you look in the mirror, you see a trophy, but that woman is that what you bring to your love life? You’re not showing trophy energy, you’re showing “take your turn” energy and it’s time to do better.

Today is the article that each one of you needs. 7 things you need to check off before you go on any date or before you try to repair any relationship. This list goes from the first date, to the relationship stage, but first we'll start with the thing men put the most energy into...

#7 Men Hate Dry Sex

Sex is the single most important thing for a man in the early stage of a relationship. Every move he’s making during the dating stage is a calculated plan where he’s trying to figure out how to make you like him enough to have sex sooner rather than later. Any man that tells you he isn’t after sex, or it isn’t that important, is a fucking liar. Even if he’s not trying to sleep with you right away, it’s still in the front of his mind. Don’t bullshit yourself. The right man will get you to have sex before you enter a relationship or, at the latest, during the week you make it official, and that’s where you fumble the relationship.

Post-sex is where most of you will lose a man’s interest. To hear you tell it a whiff of your vagina could bring peace to the middle east, but the receipts of your life show that multiple men have sampled your goods, then moved on. He got busy at work, so you decided to cut him off because of the lack of attention. He started acting crazy and talking like a stalker after you blessed him, so you blocked him. Or, my favorite, you both agreed that you weren’t compatible and moved on. Do you hear that sound ringing? It’s the bullshit detector going off. These men fuck you, then sabotage the relationship because putting the ball in your court to leave him alone is safer than ghosting you. Males have played this game since high school, and we know all the variations to break free after we fuck a girl who didn’t impress us in a way where we negate the emotional fallout… and maybe even leave the door cracked so we can at least fuck you again if we ever get down bad. Your pussy was wet, but every thing else was dry, so why would we glue ourselves to you when we could go get better?

Basica Example: Four dates in, and you finally allow him to come over to your place. You two have amazing sex. He gave you bomb head, and you even woke up and did it again at 4 a.m. It’s been a minute since you got dick like this, and you can get used to this life. The next day, he passes the asshole test by calling you instead of ghosting. Next weekend, your ego is on fire because he wants to see you again. BUT… after the next hook-up, things begin to get weird. This man, who was looking like husband material, now seems preoccupied and distracted. You try to be there for him, but he’s giving you that stank “boy attitude” where you know something’s wrong, but he lies and says he’s fine, then gets smart with you for asking in the first place. *Gas Lighting Alert* You don’t want to go back and forth and turn something small into a fight, so you give him some time to cool off.

The problem is you’re sprung and can’t stop thinking about him! You miss him and reach out a few days later to check in, and he’s now acting dry or busy. It’s happened. The man you thought was going to be special just showed his ass, and you don’t know why. This is what we men refer to as the Push-Off. We engineer a small beef that gets you out of our lives so we can move on to the next woman… But why did a man who went on all these dates with you and acted like you were special suddenly fall off… look down and open your legs.

You can’t fuck, beloved. I will bet money that you have a Corpse Bride Coochie, meaning you fuck with the energy of a Zombie. Lay back and let him put in work while you lightly moan or repeat the same generic “yes” or “yes, baby.” 42 times. The sex wasn’t bad, but you’re shy and this is the most you’re comfortable giving. Even in long relationships, you didn’t do too much unless you had too much wine. “But G.L., I’m a sub, not a dom,” don’t lie to me, submissives bring a specific kink into the bedroom, all you’re serving is stationary wet hole. Your back shots sound like Zzzzzz, not Bongos, and life’s too short to commit to a woman who is already fucking like she’s in a stale marriage.

But he ate it, he came, he wanted more the next week—that doesn’t mean shit. A man can come with his hand and a Rubi Rose video on mute. It’s not about the finish it the EXPERIENCE. You weren’t fun. He ate your pussy to get you as hot as possible, hoping you would come out of your shell. He stroked you in all kinds of ways to see if you would switch up your moan or do something different to show him you weren’t in a diabetic coma. Men know that women tend to be shy the first time, and we don’t judge the first performance because, let’s face it, males cum too quick or drink too much, which leads to us throwing weak dick. He gave you a rematch the next week to see if it was just an off day—but there you were, another round of you whispering and flopping like you have low blood sugar.

As a result of this continued Corpse Bride Coochie performance, he ghosted, sabotaged, or demoted you on the roster as a backup bitch, only to fuck again in case of emergencies. Don’t get triggered by this, get inspired! Pussy has power, but all yours is getting is an Uber back home. What’s stopping you from snatching a man’s soul? Ignorance. You need to understand the three fundamentals of having Hypnotic Pussy. Let’s count them down so you can stop embarrassing yourself…

Pussy Power Trick Number 1: The 2nd Gear Trick. This is where you wait for a man to...

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Thanks for reading Men Hate It When You Do This! 7 Things Women Should Know When Looking For Love.

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

How do you date at a high level, avoiding the fuck boys and securing a quality man? How do you turn your relationship around from ready to break up to back in love? How do you hit reset with that “friend” who has begun to lose interest in you? I talk about these things often, and I have countless examples of how women have won by paying attention to the blueprints on this site... but you’re not one of those women. Look at your life. You’re still confused by the things men do and can’t exercise control over them because every time you meet one that's handsome, your panties flood and your common sense malfunctions. How many times are you going to lose before you take this help I'm offering seriously?

You overthink, and overthinking leads to anxiety, and anxiety leads to second-guessing yourself, and second guessing yourself leads to you becoming your own worst enemy. Your intuition is trash, you’re emotionally confused, and you go against what works because you don’t believe in yourself.

“Yeah, G.L.’s book said to do this, but my man is different, so I’m going to do it 40% his way and 30% another person’s way, and make up the rest…” And you wonder why your love life isn’t popping? You should be dating top-shelf men. You should be in relationships where you aren’t arguing. You should be living your best life and secure in your skin with a man who values you because he sees that you’re a fucking Spartan, not a Placeholder. Instead, you’re making excuses for being single or trapped in a toxic relationship with a man who can’t wait to find a Game Changer so he can drop your ass.

Fuck where to go on a first date, you should be learning why you can’t get to a second date, Basica. Your mouth says, “What man wouldn’t want me,” but the receipts of your life prove that no one is willing to commit you after they get to know you. You're not Bae, you're the girl in his phone he only hits up when the cooler one doesn't text back. You’re out here dating blind to your trauma and flaws, thinking because you have a cute face all will be forgiven. There are too many women with the total package for men who aren’t damaged goods to settle for you.

Do you know how to turn a man on with conversation? Do you know how to make a man respect you enough not to cheat? Do you know how to come off as a woman who needs to be chased and locked down because she’s rare? No. All you know is your little basic bitch routine. You’ve been dating the same way since you were 18. Asking the same questions, texting with the same dryness, and giving up pussy to the same clowns who tell you what you want to hear. When you look in the mirror, you see a trophy, but that woman is that what you bring to your love life? You’re not showing trophy energy, you’re showing “take your turn” energy and it’s time to do better.

Today is the article that each one of you needs. 7 things you need to check off before you go on any date or before you try to repair any relationship. If you can’t comprehend these things, then you’ll be stuck in relationship purgatory for life!

Men Hate When You Do These 7 Things While Dating or In a Relationship

#7…

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Thanks for reading Men Hate It When You Do This! Top Things Women Should Know When Looking For Love.

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

On today's episode we're live and loaded with some of the best topics of the week! The world of dating has gone crazy: A women too classy to eat at Cheesecake Factory, Ratchets ordering 40 Oysters and being stuck with the bill, and of course the viral "Should a woman order 4 drinks on a date when a man only has $150 to his name. (click to read the story)" We're going to discuss dating etiquette in a big way! Plus we answer your question on a variety of topics, including the big one of: How To Get A Man To Commit Instead of Ghost You!

And we also break down the most asked question: How To Speed up the Dating Process to get into a relationship sooner than later!

Do NOT miss out on this important episode! Press Play Below To Listen!

The rest of this page is Member Content! Don't miss out on this content from best selling author G.L. Lambert! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP WITH YOUR EMAIL AND CONTINUE...Current members login using the form below to unlock this content... Username or E-mail Password Remember Me     Forgot Password

Thanks for reading How To Speed Up The Dating Process And Get Into A Relationship

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

On today's episode we're live and loaded with some of the best topics of the week! The world of dating has gone crazy: A women too classy to eat at Cheesecake Factory, Ratchets ordering 40 Oysters and being stuck with the bill, and of course the viral "Should a woman order 4 drinks on a date when a man only has $150 to his name." We're going to discuss dating etiquette in a big way! Plus we answer your question on a variety of topics, including the big one of: How To Get A Man To Commit Instead of Ghost You!

And we also break down the most asked question: How To Speed up the Dating Process to get into a relationship sooner than later!

Do NOT miss out on this important episode! Press Play Below To Listen!

The rest of this page is Member Content! Don't miss out on this content from best selling author G.L. Lambert! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP WITH YOUR EMAIL AND CONTINUE...Current members login using the form below to unlock this content... Username or E-mail Password Remember Me     Forgot Password

Thanks for reading How To Speed Up The Dating Process And Get Into A Relationship

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

A guy chased you for years trying to get a date, and you finally gave in only for him to lose interest a month later…

A guy spent weeks blowing up your phone, taking you out, and tricking gifts only to randomly become too busy to text back…

A guy who had a WHOLE girlfriend left her just to get a shot with you, only to ghost you without reason…

Catch and Release it’s what we males do at some point during our lives if not for life. Every woman reading this has had a man on her heels; thirsting, spending, begging, being vulnerable all in an attempt to get your full attention. THEN the moment you start to like this guy more than usual, he switches up. You hate to admit it, but a guy Sliming you out either has happen or will happen! Sometimes it comes after sex, sometimes you don’t even have sex. Regardless if you sleep with him or not, the real damage comes in the form of the confused rejection. You're out here entertaining men who you assume are falling for you, but in reality they just want a turn with you. "I'm the wifey type, I can help a man grow," he doesn't give a fuck, beloved. His aim is to fuck you until he gets annoyed with you, then toss you to the street in favor of a new woman who he sees as his real Game Changer. Your job isn't to get mad and hate men, it's to get smarter by understanding why these guys target you to begin with.

Let’s be honest ladies, sometimes these false alarm men are everything you’re looking for physically and personality-wise... but 8 out of 10 times they’re not your type physically, you gave them a chance because of what-- say it with me -- you were lonely and bored! You adjusted your checklist because of how he pursued you. Coming correct with real effort, is a turn on that quickly turns Mr. So-So into Mr. Sexy AF. Your mistake isn't giving someone "different from your normal type" a chance, it's assuming that these men are so below you that they won't play the same game as the pretty boys.

“Make sure a man is more into you than you are into him” is solid advice until you realize that men are experts at turning the table and making you fall hard and fast. The first month he was on you, but by the second month, you’re the one open due to the attention and treatment. That’s the Catch phase. Then, out of nowhere, that same eager man stops calling as much, stops trying to see you, gets busy, and eventually you stop speaking altogether. That’s the Release phase. Why did he do that? What was the point? Keep reading...

I’ve heard all the stories from, “Everything changed after we had sex,” to “I didn’t even fuck him, he still started acting funny” and most recently, “He doesn’t make an effort to see me anymore but still watches all my IG stories…” Rejection is a bitch, especially when you felt like the dominant force in the driver’s seat. He was on your clit, yet he still had the power to take away his attention and hurt your feelings. You say you don’t care, but you do. You claim he didn’t ghost you, but he did. Yeah, he’ll text back some dry bullshit if you hit him first—doesn’t mean he likes your ass. Yeah, he watches your social media stories—but he’s looking at every cute girl’s story, that shit isn’t special. You may even pretend you cut him off, but the reality is if he reached out and wanted to see you, you would be like— “If you want…” You still want to repair things, not because you see him as special, but because rejection invalidates your ego.

To feel better, you need to be recognized by the same person who pulled you in and pushed you away. Vent about him, curse his name, go date someone else, it won’t take away the pain, beloved. The very thought of him triggers you because once again a man made you look stupid. He’s off living his best life, and you’re stuck in your feelings, wondering what you said, did, or didn’t do that drove him away. In the end, it’s all a game, and it’s time for you to stop losing.

The Pursuit

Do the romantic actions of men during those first few weeks or months mean they want you? That depends on how you define “want.” 90% of straight men would fuck you, yes even you over there who just sucked your teeth…your low self-esteem having ass could get dick tomorrow if you tried because guys are easy. Sex or the fetish attraction driven by lust is not the “want” I’m referring to when discussing pursuit. When I say “want” I’m talking about a passion to get to know who you are beneath the surface, not beneath your clothes. I’m pointing to a need to experience the whole of you and ultimately to tether himself as your man because he can’t imagine another having you. Every male has romantic passion inside of him. There is no such thing as a man who doesn’t want or need love. “So why didn’t he want me after I did XYZ” Ah-ha! That’s the carrot that’s dangling. Just because a man is capable of giving you his love doesn’t mean he will. In my book Men Don’t Love Women Like You I outline Game Changer’s versus Placeholders, so I won’t go into that psychology. Instead I want you to understand what negative pursuit looks like so you can save yourself the frustration of falling for someone who will eventually run hot then go cold.

When was the last time you’ve been truly wanted on a deeper level than the physical? Do you even know how to tell the difference between someone truly interested and someone who is chasing you for sport? Each of you has dated or has seen enough of your friends' date to recognize that pursuit doesn’t equate to genuine interests. Even still, you “give chances” aka “allow yourself to be played” because you have yet to master the ability to poke holes in a person’s character. You want to believe in the bullshit philosophy that if a person is treating you good in the beginning that their intentions are pure. A few dates, daily texts, long phone calls, going on a trip, are nothing but a smokescreen, but you swear it means that a person really likes you because when it comes to romance, ego drowns out wisdom!

A man’s willingness to chase what’s between your legs isn’t the same as craving you on a deeper emotional level. Some men chase to get over exes. Some men chase to boost their own low self-esteem. Some men chase out of power. Some men chase women in relationships because it feels good to beat out another man. Some men chase women who see them as platonic, just because they want to prove they can get out of that friend box. Some guys get your number just text you, never even asking you on a date, because you're just conversation, not worth taking out. Some men talk to you just to get closer to your friend, that's who he really wants to hit. And yes, men chase women for pussy more times than not because that’s what we’re hard-wired to want, a nut. I know you’re thinking, “I hate boys, I quit.” Again, I’m not talking about ALL MEN. I’m just preparing you to toughen up, so you see past the ones I’m currently describing. By the time you finish reading this complete article you'll understand the game on a new level, and that's my job, to help you sidestep these men who chase you but don't really want you, in order to meet and hook the men who are ready to love on a mature level.

Why Male Bullshit Works

Woman Logic: But there are so many other women he could go after that would be easier… why spend all that time talking on the phone… why spend money on dates… why tell me all these deep things… why chase me if it was just a hallow act of boredom, lust, or competition?

Men don’t need a cosmic reason to go after you other than an impulse. The game goes CHASE, CATCH, RELEASE until we run into a Game Changer that makes us want to hold onto the catch stage longer than normal or even forever. Some men like the idea of a woman, but once they get hold of her, that reality can fail to create that same spark as that imagined fantasy, so they fall back, get busy, or simply pop up with something new so you get the hint. I know… it’s a cold fucked up world. Even making it this simple, you’re probably still confused: If a guy just wants to have sex, why doesn’t he say it? If he still wants to shop around why treat you like a girlfriend? Men will lie for one simple reason, and that is...

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Thanks for reading Chasing You Doesn’t Mean He Wants You: How To Guard Against Users

Far From BasYc by G.L. Lambert

I hope you all had fun reading the different perspectives of my guest writers, and for the final guest post, we have Will Anthony aka Bmore Banner. He’s the founder of  I’m Getting Divorced which gives a running commentary on his divorce from his soon to be ex-wife and why they failed. I don’t have a ratchet baby mother, I have a classy wife, so he’s the perfect person to write about this topic. Enjoy. I’ll be back next week. Get ready for my new book free for all members! – G.L. Lambert

The Ratchet Baby Mama

Written By W.Anthony

When you look at urban definition of a baby mother, it is what it is, “The mother of one’s child.” In a time of celebrity divorces and child support, let’s not forget alimony, I thought this would be a good time to talk about the differences between “the mother of one’s child” from the Spartan & Ratchet point of view. This may not be my exactly my brother NC-17’s definitions on Spartan or Ratchet, but I’ve read this blog since the first day and I’ve read Solving Single front to back, so I think it’s safe to say that I know the difference between a strong ass Spartan chick that has confidence, class, and isn’t afraid to put a nigga like me on blast when I do wrong— from an eye rolling, know it all, passive aggressive Ratchet chick who settles beef like a teenager.

As a man with multiple children, 5 to be exact, I realized that there are significant differences in the companies I’ve kept in my past. With 5 children by four mothers it may seem as though I’m the ratchet, and who knows, I’m pretty sure I may have been, but as I got older and more mature I noticed the differences in the mothers and I didn’t have to concentrate on myself anymore, just my actions. There are three types of baby mothers I want to dig into; The Suspect Baby Mother, The Bitter Baby Mother, and the last being The Spartan Mother of your child. I’ve been blessed to say I have had 2 of those in my lifetime, one I’m married to. The other, God rest her soul, passed away in 2010 with my oldest daughter, I miss them so much, sometimes subjects pertaining to them are hard to finish, but today I felt more compelled and composed enough to do so.

The Spartan Mother of your child is the woman that when in a relationship with you is all about you and the future you can build; it’s the relationship you don’t expect to end. Once your child is born it almost seemed destined that you two will stay together forever, however that is not always the case. If or when separation happens, both parties are hurt and the Spartan Mother must decide her next step, “should I say fuck him and be ignorant?” or “should I just prepare and stay calm and handle my business as a parent outside of the romance that’s now over?” The Spartan mom thinks of this during separation and even after separation, and as a man you hope for your child’s sake that she doesn’t slip into that black hole of jealousy and bitterness. Maybe she takes the guy downtown to get child support or maybe she works out something privately without the courts, most of the time she would rather go for those side deals where she doesn’t drag him into some court where most likely a bias judge will try to rape his pockets. Now, I’m not saying that the Spartan Mother doesn’t deserve child support, all men should support their children, and if she feels that the man isn’t going to hold up his side of the deal, then she has that right to make it more legal to keep his deadbeat ass honest.

Money and visitation aside, the special thing about a Spartan Mother is that she doesn’t talk bad about you to other people or beat you down as if you are a bad father. You guys may have disagreements but after a week she’ll calm down and everything is back to normal. The Spartan Mother of your child is the relationship that could have worked, but for some reason did not, and it may have had nothing to do with cheating or fighting. Maybe it was an age difference or just some growing apart issues you went through that made you less compatible, but that doesn’t stop the respect and love you have for one another.

What makes her a Spartan Mother and not just the baby moms? This type of woman chooses her happiness over her baby father. Anyone with a child wants to raise them in a two-parent home, but it takes a strong woman to realize that you can’t force that issue just because people say you should nor is she going to sacrifice her piece of mind trying to keep all the bodies under the same roof when she no longer loves that man. Before she passed, my Spartan Baby Mother and I Co-parented our beautiful little girl, and while we didn’t live under the same roof, we were still raising our daughter as if nothing changed. Because the stress of our romantic relationship was done with, we were able to be friends again, fall in love with other people, and be happy for real instead of faking it on birthdays and visits. Our daughter had to see the change in the relationship, which is why she was such a happy child over those years. There needs to be more real men who step up as fathers, but there ALSO needs to be more Spartan Mothers who can co-parent without hostility. It would put less stress on these children out there and give them the real opportunity to spend time with their fathers without attitude and constant bickering.

All the fellas who have experienced the ugly side of the Ratchet Mother knows about that passive aggressive bullshit and that stereotypical but real life attitude those ratchets hit you with. Ratchet moms gets so worked up about their own bullshit to the point where they are cussing you out about your son/daughter’s shoe not being tied when they get home. That shoe drama or losing something out of the diaper bag argument turns into a 2 day beef about something totally pointless, because she’s not happy with her life, and needs someone to take it out on. I’ve lived it, I know. So when you see a mother that’s not letting her personal bullshit affect your relationship with your child, you have to appreciate that and that’s why I give all the love and respect in the world to the Spartan Mother.

Let’s be honest, I have multiple kids because I got caught in up in the moment, a WHOLE LOT of moments and made immature decisions. After the baby comes there isn’t an instant maturity, so you make a few more immature decisions. I’ve learned to be a better father through experience, not by being yelled at or being taken to the courthouse for child support. Most of these fathers will become better too I hope. The opportunity for redemption is always available, that is what these dumb ass chicks with kids don’t understand. Let me say, for every lame ass baby daddy out there, there is a baby mama that is the same or worse.

Let me tell y’all a story about the two other types of baby moms. I will say this, coming up, from about 18-24, I thought I was not necessarily a player, but I did play my cards right to the point that I could say I’d been with black, white, mixed, Spanish, Chinese and Indian women. It was just preference at the time and with the profession I was in, it was the norm. I had even introduced my mom to this Chinese girl that I was really considering settling down with and making my woman, BUT, my ghetto side called me, and the same way a lot of y’all ladies out there want a brother, I still wanted a sister, but notice I said, “ghetto side”, so instead of keeping my eyes open for class, like most dudes that age, I was looking for ASS.

I had been introduced to this young lady, a year older than myself. She was at that time, beautiful mixed with black and white, short, with one of the best bodies I’d ever seen. She already had a kid, but my mindset was “do you”. We ended up having this 6-month relationship and she got pregnant, meanwhile I had totally killed all communication with my Chinese girl, it wasn’t because I didn’t want her anymore, it was the convenience I had with this beautiful girl that lived so close to me. This girl I’m about to describe is what I call the Immature Baby Mother also known as the “Suspect”. This is the type of woman that talks a good game about how she is going to make co-parenting work, how she’s going to accept the fact that it’s over and not hold it against you, but then switches up and gives you a million excuses later as to how you brought out the ratchet in her. The Suspect Baby Mother goes out and lives her new life, finds her a new man, and she does keep her side of the deal. BUT when the chips are down in her current situation she talks that “you’re not a real father, just a baby daddy” shit to you.

Fellas out here, you know that when your baby moms finds a new dude, she’s super happy, and she doesn’t have any reason to be hostile. You may not like a new dude trying to play pops, but for the time being, him laying that pipe in her lonely ass keeps the focus off of you and your new relationships. Ladies out here who have Ratchet baby mother friends, you know that the moment drama between her and her man goes down, she takes it out on everybody, her mother, sister, cousin, best friend, but nobody takes collateral damage more than the baby daddy. When things are going good with the “boo thing” she wants to turn him into the NEW daddy, but as soon as that dude starts showing his true colors, she has to take it out on the good baby daddy. If these girls would “Spartan up” on the new dude and call him out on his shit then that new dude would most likely leave her to that single mother life that a lot of women are afraid of. She can’t yell at him or check him about money, love, and attention so she looks to her baby daddy and says, “I need more money from you. I need you to come see him more” because she needs a scapegoat. You try to work it out and do the right thing, but as soon as their relationship is fixed, you’re not allowed to see your child the same way you could see him when they were beefing.

Ladies, think about your ratchet friends and you all have ratchet ass friends don’t lie. She meets a new man, he’s a bum, but she loves him. For a man like me, I now have to pay for ANOTHER MAN to live with my Baby Moms. You’re not allowed to readjust the child support, even though she has a dude living rent free in her crib eating off the money that is supposed to be going to the baby.

How can you fix this problem? Spartan Up and tell that dude to be a real man and stop being afraid to lose him and start dating all over again. Or you keep it 100 with yourself and grow the fuck up and understand that no man is worth keeping around who makes you angry at the world. Your child shouldn’t be 13 years old before you realize “damn, my son’s father really cared and my mother really has a clown living in our house making me call him ‘pop'”. Recognize a good man when he’s trying to do good, and recognize a lame who just wants to play off your insecurity of being a single mother and use that as his way into a rent free house where he can play step pops when he feels like it.

You’re a single mother– not a desperate ass mother. Know the difference, shorty! Stop being easy targets for these men who just want that baby making coochie. He bringing dick to the table and you buying him Jordans with my child support money. Nah.

Lastly, this is the one that I could say upsets me and most fathers the most. The Bitter Baby Mother. The bitter baby mother could be some girl you met at the mall that caught your eye and you had no choice but to introduce yourself. This is the girl that you were fucking and you never made it official but she did… this is the girl NC would call a placeholder or pussy not wifey type. This is the girl that accidently got pregnant while testing out her new riding skills and couldn’t hop off in time. This is the girl that would tell you she was pregnant and when you ask “what do you want to do?” she spaz out. “FUCK YOU MEAN WHAT I WANNA DO, NIGGA!?!”

In my defense, imagine a Spanish girl 5 years younger than me pissed about me asking a question about her pregnancy, I forgot to mention she was from the Bronx. I thought the rant was cute though, what dude dick doesn’t get hard hearing that sexy/angry NYC accent? I didn’t know she was going to hold it against me. I didn’t know she was too immature to understand how to talk instead of yell. I didn’t know this would be the worst experience ever as a father. I NEVER got the time with my daughter I wanted, she never got to meet her older sister that passed. The first time she ever met her other siblings was after their older sister’s funeral. It is sad how they come together after tragedy. You can’t let your anger ruin another person’s right to a family! So what if you’re mad at me, it’s not about you and me, what I said to you, or any of the YOU YOU YOU stuff. It’s about me and my daughter getting to know each other, that has nothing to do with your bitterness about how our relationship ended.

You can be mad, but you should never deny a man his fatherly right if he is actually willing to be there. For the females out there reading this, I am  not trying to make you all into the bad people or generalizing, I am talking to those stubborn, dick silly, bitter ass, can’t let go of the past, crazy chicks that we all know exist. If this describes you, get your shit together. It’s nothing like having to go to court 4 times for the same shit, wasting gas and money, meanwhile you’re getting child support and you also have the opportunity to give your child time with their father. Women, all men are NOT the same.

So many men want relationships with their children, you don’t have to run to a judge to make them have one. Getting a check isn’t the same as getting a childhood where their father is teaching them about life. A lot of men turn into absentee fathers after the fact and let women do the work, not because they don’t give a shit, it’s because they are put in the position to be handcuffed by you and the legal system. You are not giving these men the chances they deserve because of how petty you can be. A man believes that when you say “leave us alone” that you mean it and some men have that “fuck it” attitude and will accept that his relationship with his child can never be because of the mother. SEPARATE your feelings for him from your child’s need for him. Deal with the fact you two are not together anymore and let that man do his job with his kids without supervision at McDonald’s or the strip mall. That’s so disrespectful.

Many of you reading this probably grew up without your pops, and all you had to go off was what your mother told you. Bitter baby mothers raise bitter daughters and the reason they are bitter is that you told them that their father was never a serious relationship for you. After the Drake songs go off, after she’s read all the FarFromBasyc.com posts, and after her therapy sessions end, she’ll understand that there is always two sides to every story, and that men aren’t good or bad like in a cartoon, but complex. Once she has that breakthrough guess who she’ll blame her issues with men on? You guessed it… Ladies, jealousy gets you nowhere, you’ll either be a bitter ratchet for the rest of your days or you’ll put your sons and daughters in that same damn mind frame and repeat the cycle all over again. Spartan mothers create Spartan daughters, and I have two in heaven and two under my roof right now that prove this fact. Thanks for reading and thanks to G.L. for letting me tell my side of the story on his website. –Will Anthony

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